I’m leaning against the window of the bus trying to grab some sleep when I get a whiff of a familiar fragrance and again, after almost a year, I’m reminded of him… Why isn’t moving on easy? Rather, can you really move on over a person completely?
In my limited experience, I’d say a no. The sooner you give up this idea, the faster and easier the process will be. Moving on, apart from the phrase, perhaps doesn’t even exist in real life.
Rather, it’s better to give in to your emotions. At least that is what I did – cried my heart out for a couple of days until grief had no space. Don’t press your emotions and be hard at yourself – loosen up. Unlike what Google search results may show, don’t jump on meeting friends and distracting your mind by engaging in activities all day long. Rather, detox yourself from the toxicity in the mind (and heart) and then catch up with your buddies.
Most importantly, let your emotions flow freely. Don’t suppress them.
Avoid calling him but if it’s been days & weeks you’ve been crying & starving, I’d say go ahead, make that call & talk to them as if nothing happened. May do you some good.
Now all said & done – here’s what really worked for me – don’t try hard to move on.
Get one thing straight – whoever around says they’ve moved on – never loved the other one with all their heart & soul or they’re simply lying.
And even after years of breaking up and moving on, there will be days where a particular place or an old song will break you from inside. But smile it off. Think of the good times with him. I’m sure there are innumerable fond memories compared to the sour ones. Shed a tear or two if it helps. But again don’t wipe your tears and shrug off your feelings. Not everyone is lucky to find a perfect partner, twice.
Another thing that worked for me – We used to often travel together to college or take a stroll in our vicinity. Needless to say, we had countless memories and jokes attached to every corner. So after we separated, every time I took a walk around the same area, I had a chill run down my spine. I was reminded of the good old days, the silly jokes, sometimes the fights. Obviously, I broke down on the inside. But in a bid to move on, I challenged myself to take the same route everyday. Yes, so what if I cried once again; this had to stop someday. I had to gather all my pieces and move on with life. And gradually, it took me months (no kidding) until I could walk down that lane with a smile on my face.
Why smile you may ask? I realized over a period of time that I had made new memories here that had almost replaced the old ones. Once I walked the road with another friend, and so the next time I was all by myself, I recalled my friend’s comment on a funny signboard and broke into a smile. At another instance, I even remembered a juicy gossip my friend told me under the banyan tree on the same road. And there, slowly a part of me was changing, embracing the present, moving on over the past.
All I am saying is, when you feel low, don’t fake a smile. Don’t abandon your feelings. It’s absolutely ok to be sensitive and talk about them than pretending to be at merry.
Years later, you will still have gloomy days – when you will come across a familiar fragrance and a thousand memories will be thrown at you – my take at it – take it in your stride and smile. You’ve survived it.
P.s. Phew! Poured out my feelings on the blog after a long, long time! What are your thoughts about it? What’s your ‘moving on’ story?
I’d love to know in the comments section below! ❤